Not Today


This is Bourbon, the 28-pound cat that has nothing to do with this post.


I had a craft post lined up to share today, with just a few things to tweak. But I couldn’t really bring myself to do it. Maybe it’s because I’ve been down with a nasty cold/cough the last few days. But when I looked at my Facebook wall I noticed I haven’t posted since last Wednesday.

I haven’t posted about the lovely and very Instagram-worthy trip I took upstate with friends to celebrate a birthday. I haven’t posted about being sick, or Vlad being sick. I also haven’t posted about Puerto Rico. Or Las Vegas. Or #TakeAKnee. Or the 20-week abortion ban coming up in Congress. Or about any of the million other shitty things that are happening every day that I care about, a lot.

And it all feels very, very pointless. I have lots of pithy, insightful articles and hot takes lined up—comparing relief the US gave to Haiti vs what Trump is doing for Puerto Rico (hint: much less), or how the Las Vegas shooting is only the “most deadly” if you don’t count the many massacres of black and brown people in America—but who is it for?

Is it for the folks who disagree with me? I know who they are—and generally they either want to troll me or convert me to their side, neither of which I will participate in. I’ve been in lots of internet arguments, and I know they are pointless. Both sides only become further entrenched, and of course they do—even science tells us that. That’s not to say I never jump in, but it’s generally not for the benefit of the person I’m challenging. And you know, I have a temper.

Is it for the folks who already agree with me? To pat myself on the back? What I usually tell myself is that it’s to provide resources and contribute to the conversation happening within my community. But today that feels pretty hollow.

And it also feels hollow to post about an embroidery project. Or at least to post about an embroidery project when I also haven’t posted about anything else.

And I know that if I wanted to post all embroidery all the time, or all kittens and puppies and babies, or goat memes, that would be fine. But I don’t want that.

I want change.

I want some goddam sensible gun control.

I want effective and just hurricane relief.

I want an end to police violence and racial injustice.

I want refugee resettlement.

I want to avoid a nuclear war.

I want victims of sexual violence to have a fair shake on campus—and in court.

A Trump impeachment would be nice.

And, I don’t know, world peace?

I also want people to stop posting stupid things on Facebook. Sometimes I think if I see one more “disrespecting the flag” comment, my eyes will bleed. And I know that they probably think the same about my liberal screeds—but the difference is that I’m right. And that only makes it more frustrating.

So, here we are. I could just disconnect—but I probably won’t. So I’m going to plug in another podcast and save the crafts for next week, and hopefully the world will be a little less shitty, or at I’ll be a little more resilient.